Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
