i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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