we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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