i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I think i got beer on your cat.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
