I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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