Just fell off a train. Bad.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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