That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
