eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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