Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
