I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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