i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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