How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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