I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
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He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
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His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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