marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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