Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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