OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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