Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
My room smells like vodka and shame
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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