I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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