Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
