I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
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Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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