I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
