Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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