Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
