dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
