Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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