the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize