3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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