She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I can't turn off my feet"
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I forgot wine drunk hurts
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I had to cum in my sink.
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