I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
