I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
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At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
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It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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