My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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