somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
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