So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
