Nicole vs. Life
I want to have your abortion
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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