I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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