I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
