You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
