his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
