Grow some girl-balls and come out already
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
