Pappa wants mamma naked
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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