i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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