I will die if light touches me.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
