Your dad touched me again.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
