but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
