I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
