Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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