What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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