I faked an abortion last night.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize