# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
