Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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