I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Randomize
