we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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