matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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