This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
