i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
