my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize