I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
you would pick up someone in the library
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
